Back Home (Betsy)

The Helper (the Two)

This was Betsy personality type see "About Me/Observer" on my main page for more information.

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

What I Like About Being a Two

What's Hard About Being a Two

Twos as Children Often

Twos as Parents

The Concerned, Helpful, Possessive, Manipulative Person

Childhood Origin:

Ambivalent to father-figure.

Basic Fear:

Of being unloved.

Basic Desire:

To be loved.

Healthy Sense of Self:

I am caring.

Characteristic Temptation:

To be too well intentioned.

Characteristic Vice:

Vainglory.

Characteristic Virtue:

Disinterested charity.

Hidden Complaint:

I am always loving, although people don't love me as much as I love them.

Key Defense Mechanisms:

Identification, reaction formation, denial.

 

Helpers are interested in people, play the role of nurturer, and try to present a loving image.

Self-Preservation Twos: "Deserving of Privileges"

Relational Twos: "Persistent and Seductive"

Social Twos: "Ambitious"

Point Two: The Program of Helpfulness With Manipulation

Special Gift:

Warmth and ability to help people feel comfortable

Self-Definition:

"I'm helpful."

Shadow Issue:

Parasitic pride

Rejected Element:

One's own needs

Addiction:

Service/manipulation

Strength Needed:

Appropriate self-value (Humility)

Defense Mechanism:

Repression

Psychological Disturbance:

Hysteria/dependent personality

Talk Style:

Help and advice

Preoccupations Include:

Gaining approval and avoiding rejection, pride in the importance of oneself in relationships.
Submission to a powerful other, then identifying with the other to avoid feeling depressed.
Concern about limited personal freedom.
Altering oneself to meet the needs of others.
Empathy with others' feelings; adapting to their wishes as a way of assuring their love.

Focus:

Personal emphasis on privelege ("me first").
Couple emphasis on aggression/seduction.
Community emphasis on ambition.

Life Task:

To move from dependence on approval to knowledge of personal strength to meet one's own needs. This usually requires personal loss. The resulting depression can lead to a more accurate self-assessment and understanding of tasks.